Sleeker in Silver
by DancingDragonBlaze
Summary: He is an elite Anbu captain with a strange fetish. Just like Sasuke had a strange obsession with copper, THIS Anbu is obsessed with silver, and the way it wraps, like a sleek snake, around the captured Uchiha's neck... Companion piece to Hotter in Copper


**Konnichi wa!**

**Yo everyone! Yes, I know – long time no see, neh? I gotta tell you though – school has the capabilities of being a complete and total DICK. Just so you know. **

**Moving on, I dedicate this one shot to **_**dark galaxy**_**! I dedicated a one shot to her ages ago and I never bothered writing it. She just let me have free reign over the shot, and this is what got injured. **

**I know, bad pun – shut up. **

**Okay, two more one shot dedications to go!**

**Wait… -counts on fingers- Ah, crap. Never mind. **

**This really isn't a sequel to Hotter in Copper at all – it just happens to deal with another metal. I got three titles stuck in my head, and this is the second one. I guess you can call it a companion piece.**

**Hope you enjoy. Not even I really knew where I was going with it. I just started writing it, left it, started writing it again, left it, fiddled with it a little more, and this is the end result. **

**See you at the end.**

**Dedication One Shot**

**Sequel to Hotter in Copper**

**Sleeker in Silver**

They had done it. After eight years of chase, of hardship, of death – they had done it.

They had caught the Uchiha.

It was about _FUCKING _time!

The head of Anbu was on his way down even as the news spread through Konoha, making his way to the deepest dungeon underneath the Hokage tower.

He felt the Uchiha before anything else, felt the power – the anger at being caged – as soon as he stepped into the corridor adjoining the multiple cells.

He sighed from behind his mask.

_I can tell – already this is going to be hard. _

But he was head of Anbu for a reason, so he sucked up his dread of dealing with a pissed off Uchiha and continued walking towards the middle cell.

As he approached, the air became heavier as the Uchiha no doubt had to fight against attempting to a blow a hole through the wall.

After all, the Chakra seals would make sure he would only blow a hole through himself.

He continued until he arrived at the door, nearly swallowing at the heavy tension surrounding the door.

"Trying to blow me up isn't going to help your odds, Uchiha!" he told the person in the cell, making his voice boom. "It'll be better just for you to calm down and listen to me!"

The tension on the other side of the stone wall let up – if just barely.

"And what are you going to say to me?" The other growled from the back of the cell – where he was no doubt chained. "Are you going to tell me how I'm going to die? Or did you come here to gloat about your _miraculous, heroic capture_? Tsk." The head of Anbu was sure the Uchiha had spat in disgust. "As if! You can't save my soul, Anbu – just get lost!"

The Anbu captain couldn't resist it – he smirked. Still with that expression, he crossed his arms and leaned against the Uchiha's cell door.

"And who said I wanted to save your soul?" He replied icily. "I couldn't care less what happens to you – my orders were to capture you and that's it."

"So why are you here now?" The Uchiha snarled. "If that's all your orders consisted of, why are you wasting time down here?"

The other laughed icily.

"I'm touched to see you're concerned –" he ignored the flare of angry Chakra – "– but I have been given a new set of orders." Then he pushed himself off the stone and turned, facing the door. His face was set. "But in order to follow them, I need you to calm down. Attempting to kill an Anbu captain won't help your image at all, much less your chance of getting out alive."

A cruel laugh was heard on the other side of the door.

"I don't care about my image – that MUST be a given, seeing what I've done. And besides, who said I even _cared_ about getting out alive?"

The Anbu captain's eyes widened.

"But fine, _Captain_ – I'll hear what you have to say. Who knows – it might even be moderately entertaining."

The other felt rage build up at the nerve the Uchiha possessed, but he fought it down and regained his cool composure. After all – he was told to expect such statements – the Uchiha had become notorious for gutsy remarks.

_I can't tell if he's gone insane or if there's a good reason for all these provocative comments…_

Sure enough, the Chakra on the other side of the room fell away completely to almost nothing, and the captain raised a hand and released the deadbolt, wondering if the Uchiha was truly planning on having a peaceful conversation.

_Of course he is – the Chakra seals wouldn't have it any other way – _

But for some reason, the Anbu captain didn't believe his own reasoning.

Face blank behind the mask, he entered the cell.

The first thing he saw was the chains.

They draped across the far wall like tapestries, the silver flashing in the dim light as the links stretched down to let the shackles wrap around small ankles, wrists, and a pale throat.

And there – in the middle of the flashing silver – was the Uchiha.

For a moment, the Anbu captain could only stare. In those chains – those silver chains – the Uchiha was strikingly… dare he think it… beautiful?

Hair that used to be as long as his now hung in messy, choppy waves around the surface of the silver collar. When the Uchiha had been captured, his hair had been cut off in a sudden act of dominance by the Anbu that had caught him. Apparently, the officer had had a _thing _against males with long hair.

The Anbu captain resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

_Tsk – homophobic. Pisses me off. _

Quickly, he turned his attention to the matter at hand and looked straight into the Uchiha's sharp black eyes, undaunted even as the bangs – which had also been so very long and silky – that had been cut stabbed at the sensitive orbs.

The other knew that it had probably been quite an unpleasant shock to have those long tresses cut off, and mentally complimented the Uchiha's self-control. The captain knew that if anyone even LOOKED at _his_ hair the wrong way, he would personally make sure their internal organs would permanently stop working.

He resisted a shudder at the sight of his hair being as short as the Uchiha's.

_Matter at hand – matter at HAND –_

"Aren't you going to say anything, _Anbu_?" The Uchiha hissed distastefully. The other remained calm behind his mask.

"It's about your sentence," he replied simply. "The Hokage has decided to strike you a deal – become the village's weapon, and you'll be saved from execution."

The Uchiha merely stared at him, his upper lip pulling up in slight disgust.

"Please Anbu – save time and kill me now. I refuse be used as a weapon any longer."

The captain rolled his eyes behind the mask and took a step forward.

"The only reason you've been used as a weapon is because you've allowed yourself to be used as a weapon," he snapped impatiently.

The other didn't bristle in the rage he was so well-known for. In fact, the other laughed.

"Yes – I guess you're right. I suppose you can say I have a…" at this he trailed off suggestively. "…_fetish_… with being controlled."

The Anbu captain raised an eyebrow from behind the mask.

_What the…?_

He couldn't help it – he took a step forward – closer to the Uchiha. When he spoke, he chose his words carefully.

"_Fetish_?" He repeated slowly, testing the waters as he took another step closer. "What do you mean, _fetish_?"

The Uchiha's jaw bucked up impatiently.

"What do you think it means, Anbu?" He asked sarcastically. The other's eyes narrowed, and his naturally-born pride _begged _for him to put the smart-mouthed Uchiha in his place. The other's voice grew lower – again, suggestive. "What does _'fetish' _usually mean?"

The Anbu's eyes narrowed, and he took another step forward – so that his knees were brushing against the chains.

He had caught onto the Uchiha's underlying hints, and he wondered at them. Was the Uchiha just sexually frustrated? Or was there some deeper meaning to his wise-cracking?

His pride didn't care though – if the Uchiha wanted to get beat down, he'd be only too happy to accommodate him.

The captain could only stare down at the Uchiha – at his stubborn, prideful eyes that were half-closed – suggestive of everything possibly sinful.

Normally, the Anbu captain would coolly dismiss such actions – never giving them a second glance – but the Uchiha had caught his eye now. Both eyes in fact.

And now nothing could make him look away.

_What on earth is happening to me?_

"And do you want to be controlled _NOW?_" He asked quietly, gazing into the other's eyes for any hint of mockery or trickery.

The Uchiha smirked at him.

"I'm a weapon, aren't I?" He asked – just as softly – as the captain slowly leaned down, drifting ever closer. A small smirk appeared on the raven's limps. When he spoke again, it was low and ever-seductive. "I'm _made _to be controlled."

"I can't take the chains off, if that's what you're getting at," the captain breathed huskily. The Uchiha laughed.

"I can deal with them – it adds a tinge of erotica – and I _know _you think the same way."

The Anbu didn't say anything – he had to agree. Something about those silver chains wrapping around that gorgeous, slender neck like a collar… enticed him.

"Just one thing though…" the Uchiha breathed. He raised a hand. "I like to see the face of the one I'm being controlled by." Slipping his fingers underneath the mask, he gently pulled it off.

The other made no move to stop him. There would be no one to see. They were a few _HUNDRED _feet beneath the nearest set of ears, and the stonewalls of the cell were so thick no sound would seep out.

They were safe.

The Uchiha smirked as he revealed the other's face.

"Neji Hyuuga," he breathed, a clever smirk on his face.

Neji leaned forward into the other's face, smashing their lips together.

If the Uchiha wanted to be controlled, the Hyuuga was _more _than happy to please him. He was something of a sadist himself, now that he thought of it.

And – he must admit – the Uchiha looked wonderful in those silver chains. It gave the Hyuuga an even greater feeling of control.

The Uchiha moaned into his mouth, and Neji sat himself on the raven's lap, straddling his thighs.

"By the way…" the Uchiha breathed huskily, his hands wandering what little ways they could. "Call me Sasuke."

Neji opened his eyes slightly and rolled them, setting his hand on the Uch – _Sasuke's _– chest and pushing, forcing him down onto the hard, flat chair he had been sitting on.

"Shut up and do as you're told, _Sasuke_," he hissed dangerously, his hands slipping underneath the other's shirt. The chains stopped him from taking it off entirely, and he couldn't risk tearing it off – lest someone dropped by later on and noticed. The same with the shorts – there was no way those were coming completely off.

_Oh well. _Neji thought as he settled down decisively on top of the Uchiha, his nails digging into Sasuke's thighs. _I have no intention of this being intimate anyway – just a fuck – that's all. _

Smirking, he lowered his head and bit down sharply on Sasuke's collar bone, making the Uchiha jump slightly underneath him.

"Just a fuck…" he murmured into the raven's ear, slipping his hand upwards to unlock the collar around Sasuke's throat. "You mean nothing to me, and I wouldn't hesitate to kill you at a moment's notice – do you understand?"

The Uchiha chuckled darkly.

"Was there ever a doubt?" He replied softly, allowing Neji to push up his chin, baring his throat to the brunette as the other's teeth caught on the delicate skin. "Don't worry, _Neji_," he hissed out the Hyuuga's name, making the elder ninja shoot him a disapproving glare and bite a little too sharply on the skin surrounding Sasuke's Adam's apple. The Uchiha continued, a smirk on his face despite the pinpricks of pain. "I don't have any complaints with this situation. Weapons _never _complain about where they're placed or…" He shot Neji a suggestive look when the Hyuuga raised his head. "_how _they're used."

The brunette glared at him, his hands pressed into Sasuke's chest with fingers spread, supporting him.

"Silence,_ Sasuke_," he hissed, his hands moving to grip the front waistband of the Uchiha's shorts and yanking upwards, making the raven hiss in pain. Neji's eyes were cold as he looked down at the other. "Weapons don't _talk_."

Sasuke smirked at him tauntingly, but complied.

Undoing the button and zipper on Sasuke's shorts, he yanked them down to the Uchiha's knees, quickly making sure that the raven could flip over comfortably before reaching down.

Gripping Sasuke's hips, Neji smartly flipped the Uchiha over, settling down on his hips and pushing up the raven's shirt, leaning down to tease the pale back.

Sasuke shifted underneath him and grunted softly, his arms twisted because of the chains.

After a moment, Neji noticed the silver chain links – glinting both menacingly and seductively at once, like a beautiful naked woman that held a pulsing living heart in her hand – cutting into Sasuke's shoulder, but made no move to ease Sasuke's discomfort.

He smirked.

"I'm glad the chains are silver," he breathed, half to himself, half to Sasuke. He leaned down once more, his lips gracing the Uchiha's ear. "They make you look so…" he breathed heavily for effect, enjoying the way Sasuke shuddered underneath him with each breath. "_Sleek_."

The Uchiha smirked.

"Sleeker in silver, baby," he murmured huskily, making Neji bit down on his bared shoulder.

"Hush," he commanded, sliding his own pants down to his knees and not even bothering to take off his shirt. There was _nothing _intimate about this meeting. It was just a fuck – a way to show the Uchiha his place – that was it. "I'll tell you only once more – weapons don't _TALK_."

Sasuke stiffened underneath him, jerking in surprise and in pain both, because Neji had just defiled him on that last word with no breath of warning whatsoever, pushing in as far as he could go with his nails digging into the raven's bare hips.

The Uchiha forced himself to relax, closing his eyes with the stone bench cold against his forehead.

Suddenly he felt his arms shifting, those limbs being yanked behind his back as the chains that held him to the wall shifted.

His hair was fisted from behind and yanked, and he had to bite down a yelp as his back was arched, the same chains that held his arms were wrapped around the front of his neck, pushing him into a powerful chest.

It was suddenly extremely hard to breathe, but Sasuke – through all of it – found sick humor.

He smirked, but it was more like a grimace of pain.

"My, so _possessive_," he murmured, his voice cracking as Neji's other arm snuck around his waist.

He felt the disapproving air around the Hyuuga as the other set his mouth on the Uchiha's jaw line, biting down ruthlessly.

"What did I say about talking, _tool_?" He snarled before slamming Sasuke's face back down, tightening the chains around the Uchiha's throat.

His hand snaked around the raven's waist, his fingers drifting down to discover the answer to what he was wondering.

He smirked.

In the midst of all of this, Sasuke was hard.

"You really are a masochist, aren't you?" Neji murmured, before removing his hand and bracing himself above the Uchiha, finally beginning to move.

When Sasuke didn't answer, the Hyuuga nodded his approval, shifting to take the chains away from the Uchiha's throat. However, he didn't allow Sasuke much freedom, because he immediately latched the collar back on with a smirk.

Something about that silver around that delicate throat just turned him on.

During the first few thrusts, Sasuke was still, but – after the fourth one – he began to move, shifting with Neji's movements so that the Hyuuga brushed against that certain spot. Neji realized that Sasuke had been memorizing his movements when he had first begun.

Slowly, the Uchiha began to shudder, his shivers of pleasure growing more and more powerful with each thrust.

Neji kept his eyes on the chains – the chains wrapped around Sasuke's wrists, but mostly on the silver collar that trapped the Uchiha's neck – the collar that – Neji liked to believe for a moment – showed that the raven belonged to him, and that Sasuke was _his _weapon, _his _tool.

He chuckled darkly.

_Yes. Definitely a sadist. _

His speed picked up and the Uchiha was still silent save for his heavy breathing and the clinking of shining metal – perhaps he was aware that the Hyuuga could easily choke him with that collar around his throat.

"Just a fuck," Neji muttered before delivering a decisive thrust that had him running off the edge of the cliff to completion.

Sasuke stiffened underneath him, and Neji snuck his hand around the Uchiha's waist to grip the other's base in a death lock before the raven could turn lax.

"Don't you dare," the Hyuuga breathed to him menacingly. "No one finds out – you keep it to yourself."

Sasuke turned his head a little to shoot Neji a heated, hateful glare, but said nothing.

Neji smirked, pulling out and leaning down to slide his tongue down the Uchiha's spine, gripping Sasuke's thighs and spreading them more.

_We can't leave any evidence._ He thought before trailing his tongue down and thrusting it inside.

The Uchiha would've jerked if Neji hadn't expected it and had gripped his hips in an iron grasp, forbidding the younger from moving.

"Stay _still_," Neji told him icily. "Unless – of course – you want me to stop…"

Sasuke gave a low growl, but said nothing. The Hyuuga waited until the raven had relaxed completely before lowering his head and repeating the action.

The Uchiha tensed, but didn't move – didn't breath a word.

Neji continued until he was sure there was no evidence remaining, withdrawing to caress the younger thighs and back.

Smirking at the way the Uchiha was trembling underneath him, Neji yanked Sasuke's shorts back up over his ass – not to mention pulling his own pants up – before flipping the Uchiha over to brace himself on top of him.

"There are other ways of getting off," he breathed huskily before crushing his lips against Sasuke's, forcing his tongue into the other's mouth.

Grunting uncomfortably, the Uchiha – in time – relaxed in the Hyuuga's demanding embrace and fought back, but not nearly hard enough for Neji to find it offensive – just enough to make it a bit interesting. His hands trailed down the Hyuuga's sides, sliding underneath and letting his fingers grace the soft skin.

Neji pulled away, and he smirked down at the Uchiha.

"Don't make a sound," he breathed before sliding downwards so that he was even with the Uchiha's member. There was no sense of leaving Sasuke incomplete – if another Anbu were to come down and discover the raven in such a state, one thing would lead to another, and eventually they would discover that Neji had done certain… naughtiness… with the Uchiha.

And that would totally trash the Hyuuga's reputation – both as a respectable ninja and as a Hyuuga.

_Just a fuck. _

Fighting down the sudden, unexpected and completely insane urge to beat Sasuke until he was dead, Neji opened his mouth and consumed the other.

The Uchiha's legs tensed underneath him, and the raven's hips began to shake as Neji's tongue trailed down the vein on the underside of the shaft and teased the slit.

Sasuke had to bite his lip to keep from whining – he knew Neji would probably make it a lot more painful than it was now – knowing the sadist bastard.

But – oh God – it felt _wonderful_!

The Uchiha smirked, tensing underneath the skillful caresses of tongue and teeth and breathing in deeply, trying to control himself as long as possible.

Neji suddenly bit down harshly on the overly sensitive head, making Sasuke jerk and bite his tongue to keep down a yelp.

He felt rather than heard the Hyuuga's throaty, sadistic laughter from around his member, and Sasuke wondered what Neji would do if he loudly ordered him to go to hell.

_Probably kill me. _He thought vaguely. _Neither he nor his village has any need for me – why keep me around?_

He remembered Neji's words from before and smirked again.

_Yes. Just a fuck. That's all._

_That's the way I like it. _

Then he winced as Neji circled the head with his tongue, tensing so much that he thought the tendons in his neck would snap as invisible white shards burst in his stomach, turning into hot, smoldering liquid that scorched his insides as it exited and disappeared into the Hyuuga's throat.

Gasping breathlessly, he couldn't even raise his head to watch as Neji pulled away, neatly tucking Sasuke back in and buttoning up the shorts before moving to straddle the Uchiha again, towering over him.

Sasuke smirked up at him.

"So now what, Hyuuga?" He rasped out, his throat – for some strange reason (he hadn't called out at all because of Neji's steel orders) – burning and raw. "What happens now that you've gotten your _fuck_?"

For some reason, that turned out a lot bitterer than he expected.

Neji had heard as well, if his raised eyebrow was any indication.

"Is there something you need to tell me, _Sasuke_?" He asked, his voice deceptively sweet. "You sound a little sour."

Sasuke gazed at him evenly, and Neji found himself looking into those eyes, and not at the silver around the Uchiha's neck.

"Heh," Sasuke replied. "Just because weapons are obedient in everyway doesn't mean that they don't have pride."

Neji's eyes narrowed dangerously, and he leaned down, his hot breath washing over Sasuke's mouth.

"Weapons are obedient in everyway _because _they are weapons," he hissed, his fingers slipping underneath Sasuke's shirt and his nails digging down in a what-must-be-painful hold. "Weapons have no pride, no free will, and _no _dreams." He glared down at the Uchiha, daring him to disobey. "They are silent – not because they wish to be – but because they _must_. They have no voice, no mercy, and their sole reason of existence is to serve their wielder in battle. They have no soul, and their existence lies _solely _in the hands of their wielder. The wielder of the weapon can polish the blade and keep it sharp, or he can misuse it and watch as it rusts and dulls. If he wants, he can even break it in half without so much as a breath of regret. If he so desires, he can even melt the weapon down until it is nothing more than a smoking heap of molten metal, merely a shadow of the blade it once was. But weapons can do nothing to stop their wielders from mistreating them, because weapons have no _power_."

This last sentence was hissed menacingly into the Uchiha's ear, Neji's lips gracing the lobe and his breath hot and punishing against Sasuke's neck as the Uchiha felt the anger and (was that passion he felt right underneath that chill pale skin?) dominance pound against him, rubbing his skin and sanity raw.

"Heh. Let's not forget, _Neji_," Sasuke hissed out the name mockingly. "The wielder is only so grand _because _he has his weapon to aid him in battle. Take the weapon away, and the wielder doesn't become a wielder at all – but a mere human with wistful thoughts."

The Hyuuga gazed down at him – this time coolly as the sparks of an argument flared in the white orbs.

He smirked.

"Perhaps, but a blade that sits in a corner rusting and gathering dust without someone to swing it isn't exactly a possession to brag about, now is it?" He asked icily.

Sasuke gazed up at him with even eyes, the silver around his throat completely forgotten to the one above him at the Hyuuga refused to break eye contact.

"True," the Uchiha began. "But the man who wishes he HAD a weapon – even one so mistreated as one rusting and gathering dust in a corner – isn't much of a person to brag either."

Neji glared at him.

"Do you _enjoy _throwing everything back into my face?"

Sasuke smirked.

"Completely," he replied, silently taunting the Hyuuga.

The Hyuuga's grip on him tightened.

"You're a foolish weapon, _Sasuke_," he hissed. "One that breaks in the mists of battle – one that cuts the hand that swings it –"

"The one that kills friend rather than foe," the Uchiha breathed softly, his eyes closing as he smiled grimly. After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked up at the Hyuuga. "Well then, _Master_," he hissed mockingly, raising his eyes to lock them with white ones – white ones that were in flames with the fervor the argument had created. "How will _you _wield me?"

There was silence for a moment as neither of them broke the connection.

Then Neji smirked, closing his eyes and climbing off the Uchiha, straightening his clothes.

"I'll use you once, and then let another tear you apart," he breathed huskily just as footsteps echoed solidly on the staircase outside the cell.

"Hyuuga-sama," a subordinate of Neji's called. "Are you done?"

"By the way, Neji," Sasuke asked before the Hyuuga could answer. "You said you were here on a new set of orders? What was it? What did that idiot Tsunade order you to do?"

Neji merely looked at him for a moment before he smirked.

"Whoever said Tsunade gave them to me?" He asked slyly before turning to walk towards the door. Before he reached it, however, he stopped. He didn't turn around.

"Just a fuck," he stated. "That's all you were – all you ever will be."

"Hyuuga-sama?" The other Anbu called. Neji began walking again.

"Yes – I'm coming," he replied, opening the door and exiting without another backwards glance.

Sasuke smirked.

"Neji Hyuuga…" His smirk widened. "You're a liar."

When he was released on three years of house arrest with the Hyuuga, he wasn't surprised.

Then, after five years when he was given the silver armor of the Anbu uniform by the Hyuuga himself, he also, wasn't surprised.

_I might be a weapon, Neji, but I'll always be sleeker in silver. _

**End One Shot – Sleeker in Silver**

**I swear to God, I was high and didn't know it when I wrote this story. **

**Ah, oh well. It's not a COMPLETE piece of trash – just a little bit of rotting fruit, ya know?**

**And this isn't even the ORIGINAL Sleeker in Silver. I actually started working on another one long before this, and I never got around to finishing it. For some reason, I NEED, like **_**NEED**_** a plot in my stories. I can't do PWP's.**

**Well, I can, but it's fucking hard. **

_**myownlife**_**, I'm sorry, but the fact that mindless butt-sex is hard for me to write is the reason why I haven't finished your one shot yet. The other person I still need to write a one shot for, (you know who you are, if you haven't forgotten) that's also the reason, although yours has somewhat more plot than **_**myownlife**_**'s. **

**No offense Dear.**

**And for those who like OroSasu – READ **_**myownlife's **_**So Cold! **

**I am the beta for that story, and I am proud of the work I've done for her!**

**Apparently so is she – she says everyone should molest me with hugs! **

**-grins and holds arms out expectantly-**

**Uh… why isn't anything happening?**

**Tobi: -glomping DDB- DDB-SEMPAI!**

**DDB: -grunts- Ugh… my stomach… hey Tobi. **

**Tobi: -grins from behind his mask- TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! **

**DDB: -winces- Yes, Tobi is a good boy. Now please be an even better boy and get OFF me!**

**Tobi: -continues as if DDB has said nothing- TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! DDB-SEMPAI WANTED HUGS, AND NOW TOBI IS GIVING HER **_**LOTS **_**OF HUGS! DDB-SEMPAI MUST **_**LOVE **_**TOBI NOW!**

**DDB: -grunts- It's hard to believe you are who you are. Now GET OFF ME!**

**Tobi: -ranting on- TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY–!**

**DDB: -roars- DEIDARA! TAKE YOUR PET AND GET OUT OF HERE!**

**Deidara: -plucks Tobi off of DDB's shirt- C'mon Tobi – we're going back to the Akatsuki. It's time for tea. **

**Tobi: -jumps in Deidara's hold- WITH CRUMPETS? TOBI LOVES CRUMPETS, BECAUSE TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! **

**DDB: -stares- Has Tobi become British?**

**Deidara: No. He just heard that word on the television and decided he liked it. **

**Tobi: -yelling- TOBI LIKES CRUMPETS! –starts to chant- IT'S CRUMPETS! ****C! R-U-M-P-E–T-S! IT'S CRUMPETS! C! R-U-M-P-E-T-S! **

**DDB: -glares at Deidara- Have you been letting him listen to Gwen Stefani again?**

**Deidara: I couldn't help it! It was on the radio!**

**DDB: THEN CHUNK THE BLASTED RADIO!**

**Tobi: -bawls shrilly- BUT TOBI **_**LIKES **_**THE RADIO!**

**DDB: -glares spitfire- Deidara, get that munchkin out of my sight!**

**Deidara: -fleeing for his life- Yes ma'am!**

**Tobi: -yelling and waving from over Deidara's shoulder- BYE DDB-SEMPAAAAAAAAIIIII!**

**-DDB bitterly waves, trying to keep her face from twitching-**

**Ah. It felt good to write a scene like that. But oh! Sorry – I'm ranting!**

**Don't tell the little munchkin I said this, but I LOVE TOBI!(insert a million exclamation points here)**

**Go read So Cold by **_**myownlife**_**, if you haven't already!**

**Ja ne!**

**DDB**


End file.
